Do you ever...

• wish you were someone else?

• feel critical or discontent with yourself?

• compare yourself to others?

• yearn to grow as a person?

• want to be fully confident and humble?

 

Some people say to be happy with yourself as you are now and others say to change and become something better. The nine core principles of this season help you do both at the same time. It's miraculous to us how they work together!

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1. Experience Joy & Sufficiency Being You:​

Find joy in being you, right now at this moment. You are enough.

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You have inherent value which is independent of your choices or accomplishments. Embrace that and enjoy it now.

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We realize this is easier said than done. How do you actually do it? We recommend doing two things:​

1. Process all trapped emotions that keep you from believing your enough.

2. Use affirmations like "I am enough", "I am sufficient", and "I am joy".

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We recommend focusing on nurturing joy and sufficiency before focusing much on the 10 other principles that follow. The next 10 ask you to honestly evaluate and improve, which is healthy and good, but can lead to depression and self-loathing if this first Core Principle isn't firmly in place.

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It is our belief that most people have a list of things they want to do or change about themselves in order to earn the right to like themselves. The believe that once they've ccrossed off everything on the list, they'll have permission to feel good about themselves.

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But this doesn't work. When you try this approach, there will always be new things to add to the list and even if you did cross everything off, you still wouldn't like yourself because nothing you do will ever help you enjoy being you if you haven't learned to just enjoy being you!

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We recommend learning to love yourself without changing anything and then seeing self improvement as a gift you give to yourself because you love yourself so much.

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> Look in the mirror and say, "I am enough. I don't need to be or do anything else to enjoy being me right now." Do you believe these words? Why or why not?

> Do you have a list of things you think you have to do or be in order to like yourself? Be honest. What is on your list?

> Use the Breath of Life meditation technique with the affirmation "I love myself as I am now" until you feel it in your heart. Now, look over your list of things you thought you needed to do to love yourself. Which things on the list do you still care about? Why?

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2. Be Aware of Yourself:​

It is beautiful to aware, without judgment, of what is going on inside you, of your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, inclinations, etc.

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Mindfulness includes being aware of your environment and it also includes being aware of who you are in the Present Moment.

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> When in your life have you felt like you were really aware of who you are? What helped you get into this state of awareness? What did you learn about yourself?

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3. Be Objective About Yourself:​

This goes back to the phrase without judgment in the previous principle and the spirit of self-acceptance in the principle before that. Learn to look yourself in a very objective way. You don't need to emotionally invested in how "good" or "bad" you are.

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You just are.

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Accept every part of yourself as is. Principles below this one will invite you to be evaluate your strengths, weaknesses, habits, etc. You can do so objectively by transcending ego and simply discerning how those things help you receive and experience what you desire for your beloved self.

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> When have you experienced the sort of objectivity described above? What helped you experience that state?

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4. Be Vulnerable in Order to Be You:​

Finding out who you are and being that person in front of others is risky business. It feels scary! You may risk disappointing yourself or feeling shame. And sometimes we try to protect ourselves from by putting our true selves behind walls where no one can hurt them.

 

But you won't experience the freedom of being yourself and others won't get to enjoy the true you unless you take the risk and let yourself be your true self.

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As you apply this principle, do still Protect Vulnerability with Fidelity. You can be authentic without sharing every aspect of yourself. Some aspects of yourself are private, even sacred. It is appropriate and wise to only share these parts of yourself with those who've demonstrated that they won't take advantage of you in any way.

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> Why is it sometimes scary to be yourself?

> Which of the resources on our Process Emotions page could best help you process these fears?

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5. Be Honest About What You Can Do:​

Understand your personal efficacy; i.e. your ability to efffect change.

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Your unique know-how, skills, and strengths give you the ability to get certain kinds of jobs done. Know what you can do and be happy that you can do those things. You don't need to self yourself short or put yourself down. You can do what you can do. Do it! And use it to improve the world!

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Also, be honest about what you cannot do yet. Where are the gaps in your knowledge and ability? Lying to yourself or others about what you can do doesn't help anyone. Be willing to ask for help when you do not have what is needed to do an important task.

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> When have you pretended you're not as good at something as you are? Why did you do this? What harm did it cause?

> When have you pretended you're better at something than you really are? Why did you do this? What harm did it cause?

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6. Embrace Your Unique Creativity:​

We are creative creatures. If you want to truly feel like yourself, to feel truly alive, make time for creativity.

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Creativity includes any act that intentionally causes a change. Activities like cooking, art, craftsmanship, teaching, organizing a room, getting dressed, saying "I'm sorry", etc. are all acts of creativity.

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Anytime you solve a problem, you're being creative. Anytime you figure out a new way to do something, you're being creative. Anytime you take someting disorganized and organize it, you're being creative. Anytime you create or strengthen relationships, you're being creative.

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Put your unique mark on the world. Get creative.

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> When did you feel truly alive? In what ways were you being creative in that moment?

> What forms of creativity do you enjoy at this time of your life? What new kinds of creativity would you like to try or revisit? When will do you do it?

 

7. Determine Your Morality:​

Consider what you want for yourself and others and use that to set values and beliefs which inform your choices.

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You are going to fall short of morality sometimes. In fact, it might happen a lot. That's OK. You can still enjoy being you as you are now while you work at living up to your morality more often.

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> How can each of the 13 virtues presented on this site help you determine your morality?

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8. Make Predictions About Yourself:​

You'll learn a lot about yourself if you make predictions about how you'll act in certain situations and then watch to see if those predictions are true.

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Remember to be objective about what you learn.

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> Think of a situation you'll find yourself in today. How do you predict you'll act in this situation? Commit to come back later and compare your prediction with how you actually acted.

> What did you learn from this exercise?

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9. Be Introspective About Yourself:​

Make time to stop, look inward, and reflect on yourself. When you do so, apply all of the principles on this page. Reflect on your ability, mortality, fears, etc. This is a great time to make predictions and analyze the results.

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> When do you make time to be introspective about yourself? What does this look like?

> Would you benefit from more intentional habits of introspection? What would this look like for you?

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10. Determine Your Unique Purpose(s):​

Figure out the unique ways that you want to contribute to the world. This will become an important piece of your sense of who you are.

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> How do you want to use your life to leave a positive impact?

> How does the impact you want to leave relate to your relationships?

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11. Know Yourself Relative to Others:​

Understand how who you are affects your relationships and how your relationships influence who you are. 

 

Put honest effort into building and maintaining sincere personal relationships. This includes prioritizing the most important relationships.

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It is easy to believe the illusion that who I am and who someone else is are entirely distinct. But, as discussed in our page on Stewarding the Earth, every consciousness is made of smaller parts and is a part of larger, more complex consciousnesses.

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I do not truly understand who I am unless I understand the nature of the parts that make me up including my spirit, body, organs, cells, energies, etc. And I do not truly understant who I am unless I understand the nature of the larger collecive consciousnesses of which I am a part such as my family, friendships, communities, and even the whole Earth.

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> How well do you feel you know the parts that make you up? Ask yourself, "What part of myself would like to be known better?" Write whatever comes to mind. What questions could you ask this part of yourself to get to know it better?

> What relationships and communities are you a part of? How does seeing yourself as a part of these collective consciousnesses change your understanding of who you are?

> Consider a collective consciousness of which you are apart. How can the 11 Core Principles on this page help that collective consciousness know itself better?

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It is marvelous how well each of these 11 Core Principles work together to help you Know Yourself.

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> Pick any one of the Core Principles on this page. How does each of the other 10 principles support the principle you picked?